New Hair

I'm not sure what possessed me to think that at this stage of my life growing my hair out was a good idea. It wasn't! I tried for three years to see what I was going to end up with and after three years, it was pretty pitiful, so I braved a visit to Sara's hairdresser and had it all chopped off. I was kinda going for the Erin look, but of course, Erin has more hair than I do so it's not going to look just like hers darn it all. Anyway, I was pretty happy with my new do and the highlights the girl put in.... happy until I tried to do it myself tonight. SIGH I'm just NOT a hairdresser.... that's all. I was about to go get the scissors and start whacking at it some more, but I tried a couple more things and I think I can fix it okay now.

It's still gonna take some practice and I think I need a different kind of clay to put in it, but it's starting to take shape. It'll be okay I'm sure. Can't be a whole lot worse than what I had and it's sure a lot more comfortable. And if trying to make it look half way decent wasn't quite enough, I went to see my mother today and of course, she had some let's say "less than complimentary" things about my hair. Mrs. Nasty was at it again. She finally figured out she needed to shut up when I got up and grabbed my purse and started out the door. She thinks I'm overly sensitive and I, of course, think she's just plain old mean spirited. No winning this one.

Oh and if things weren't quite stressful enough today, the dang cable went out for about three hours. That of course, meant no TV, no phone, and no computer since I was so clever and put Cox Cable in charge of all three of those items. I'm beginning to think that was a huge mistake. Everyone kept telling me Cox was so much faster than the AT&T high speed internet I've had for the past five years. I haven't noticed any difference at all and I'm back to thinking that my original idea was right. The reason I chose AT&T in the first place was because my cable goes out sometimes.... my phone never does. Well this is a perfect example of that.

It's back to work tomorrow. We're getting things rolling on the K-9 Trials so I should have plenty to keep me busy. This new coming in early on Monday mornings (7:00 a.m.) is for the birds though. I like my late schedule much better, but Payroll has to have everything submitted by 8:00 now so I go in. You know me... I'm nothing if not obedient. LOL

My poor poor puppy

Monday Sara noticed Sammy was bleeding from somewhere, so with a little further investigation, we found it was from a growth (or skin tag) on her chest that she had scratched or caught on something. I was trying to figure out whether I needed to take her to the emergency vet or not and decided to try a little home remedy first. I put some Neosporin on her and covered it with a bandage. Then, of course, we had to put a t-shirt on her so she wouldn't pull the bandage off @@. I really am trying to give a little background here, not write a novel.

Anywayyyyyyyyyy Tuesday I took her to the vet and he thought it was time to take it off and in the meantime we discovered several more he was going to treat at the same time. Poor Sammy had to spend the night there and I had to go home and miss my constant companion. Ya know it's one thing to go on vacation and not have her around because I'm in a different place, but being at home and not having her there felt very very strange.

Wednesday I picked her up and she looked like she'd been in a terrible fight! The vet removed eight tags and she has stitches in her head, on her ear, two places on her face, and various other places on her body. Poor baby. She looks so bad. She was really REALLY glad to be picked up and we drove on over to work. It didn't take her long to start rubbing and scratching at herself, so I had to driver BACK over to the vet's (about a 30 minute drive) and pick up some pain pills and a cone so she couldn't get to her boo boos. No sooner had I arrived back at the office, the vet calls and tells me he meant to give her some different pain medication and to come back over so he could switch it out. I DON"T THINK SO!!!!! She didn't seem in any pain really, so we just put on the cone and of course within 10 minutes she had it off. This is much harder than I imagined and while patience is not something I have a lot of to begin with, I have even less in situations like this. Well it's now a day later and we're doing better. She doesn't seem to be messing with herself, but she still looks terrible. We have to go back to the vet tomorrow to have him take the bandage off her ear, which she has already removed. Oh well.... we'll let him check everything to make sure it's looking okay.

I've been wanting to blog again, but haven't had anything interesting to say, so I'm following Erin's advice and just writing what happens during the day.... boring or not.

The Artist

I got some very bad news today. I found out that a friend from many years ago and who was the brother of my BEST friend died. I had been out of touch with their family for a number of years and had basically lost track of where everyone was and how their lives were going. It's so easy to get caught up with the day to day B.S. That's not an excuse and certainly not a reason, but it does seem to be the norm...... at least for the people I know. This very special man was a man of many talents and abilities. He was extremely artistic. Maybe that was his forte, but he had so many other talents. He composed poetry, and sewed better than most women I know. Give him a road show and watch him put together 50 - 100 costumes. Needless to say.... those to whom much is given - much is expected. Maybe too much was expected of Randy. Maybe those expectations were his own more than anyone else's. I don't know. As I said, I've been out of the loop a very long time, but here's my take on this with very little knowledge of the situation to back it up. Whatever was the burden.... regardless of what we all think we'd do or could do, it was too much for this sensitive spirit. It's not my job to judge.... only to love and that's what I intend to do. For some reason, when I heard this news I thought of the words to the old song Starry Starry Night which talks about Vincent Van Gogh (another artist):

For they could not love you, but still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight, on that starry starry night
You took your life as lovers often do,
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Maybe this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you too, Randy.

My love to you. My love to your family. My gratefulness to my own family for the joy I share with them on a daily basis.

My mother - myself

I was reading a Dr. Phil advice column in my new Oprah magazine and something finally struck me that I wanted to comment on. The following is taken verbatim from the article... "Mom, I'm really trying to guard against my knee-jerk reaction to run the other way when you tell me what to do. That's because I always feel as though I need your approval for things to be all right." OMG Isn't this the plight of all mothers and daughters??? Even when we don't agree with our mothers, when we don't even respect the way they have handled different things, we still seem to need their approval? I know I do. Those that know me well know that my mother has the ability to put me on top of a building with an assault rifle from time to time, but still.... I find myself looking for her approval. In minor ways... by telling her about something I've accomplished... by telling her something that was said about me that was positive... even by telling her that I've lost weight which is really amusing because that has been a real source of conflict between us throughout my life. I've flat out told her she is not allowed to speak to me regarding my weight. She can't tell me about some new medication she saw on TV (I've tried them all thank you) or something that somebody told her about, or ANYTHING. And then I go and report to her because again... I seek her approval. I'd be willing to bet that my three daughters do the same dance with me. They seek me out for advice...approval...a listening ear...all that stuff and when I'm not being sensitive, instead of just listening.... I HAVE to give them my opinion. I think it's hard as mothers not to "help" our children. I think it's really hard to stand by and watch them make "mistakes", but in reality, that's how we all grow and become the better people we usually end up becoming. Things that I thought in my teens and 20's that I would NEVER do are now a part of my everyday life. And whats more.... I LIKE IT. Bottom line is as this article concludes... "I would like to get your opinion, and then I plan on making my own decision. I fully expect that once I do, you will support me, whether or not it's the same choice you would have made". Now that's a line we all need to memorize.... to chant it during our morning ablutions... to make it a part of us. Listen to others because their experience is valuable, but listen to yourself more and be at peace with whatever you decide to do, because only YOU live your life and nobody else can do that for you.

Too tired to be creative

It's been a long day and I'm just too tired to think of anything of any consequence to write about, but I did happen across a few quotes that I'll share. The first quote is for all the women my age or thereabouts:

"The problem with beauty is that it's like being born rich and getting poorer"

Now a quote to ponder:

"Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you"

and last but not least just for fun and spite . . .

"Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports."

Ya Ya Sisterhood

I watched a movie that I've seen a number of times, but ya know sometimes things make more of an impact than others. Maybe sometimes we have to be ready to hear things. The movie was Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood. If you haven't seen the movie, this may not make a lot of sense at first, but hang in here with me just a bit. It's toward the end of the movie and a lot has been revealed and Sandra Bullock asks James Garner, who plays her father, if he has been loved enough.

That really started me thinking. Have I been loved enough? Have my children and grandchildren been loved enough? Have all my friends and family been loved enough? What is enough? How do we know if we're loved? How do I show the love that's in my heart to the people that need to know I love them?

I think it's been difficult for me to physically express my love to my family over the years. I was not raised by a physically demonstrative mother and father. I always felt that my mother and father loved me a great deal. I never doubted that and don't to this day, but how did I receive that from them? It wasn't talked about.... I don't ever remember them telling me they loved me. To my dad, a playful punch on the arm was a hug. But I've always known.

Maybe it's in the pride we have in our families. Maybe it's in the enjoyment we experience when we're together. Maybe it's a smile. Maybe it's that boy-I-miss-you-when-you're-not-around feeling when we're apart from one another and the looking forward to when we'll get to spend time together again.

I hope if I forget to tell my loved ones, if I forget to touch them both physically and emotionally, that they will know how much I care. I will pay more attention to the people in my life that I draw my strength and hope from and let them know how important they are to me. I will strive to step outside of myself and my own problems and focus more on the needs of those around me.

In case I haven't mentioned it lately.... "Have I told you lately that I love you? . . . "

In The Beginning

I've decided that it would be unfair of God to let me live this long and have all these experiences and not provide a way for me to share all the wisdom (cough cough) I've gained with others. I've also decided that this would be great therapy to be able to speak my mind and vent on a regular basis. I'm not sure in what direction this new hobby will take me, but I think I'll at least stick around for a while and see what happens next. If nothing more... maybe this will trigger my memory for when the rest of my mind goes out the window which could be any time.

I invite my family and those friends I decide to share this link with, to stop by from time to time and see if there is anything worth reading or taking away with them. I also invite them to add their own commentaries and feel free to correct my memories or call B.S. on me (Maybe I should think that one over).

So come on in.... sit a spell.... take your shoes off... y'all come back now, hear? (Is out and out plagiarism a cardinal sin here?)